| shoot me its my birthday |
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| 09:01pm 20/08/2004 |
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my birthday always fucking sucks...why???/i tell you this......the bluegrass festival is tomorrow and everyone has no time to celebrate with me ....plus everyone is super stung out at my house because of this event....fuck the bluuegrass...i woke up this morning from a nightmare and now i'm in a nightmare....i witnessed the most voilent fight between my family ever today....lets just day i through a open beer can at my sisters face after spitting all it and jumped on my dad's back...i fucking hate fighting and i did what i could to keep the peace...but i became my hate after witnessing my dad and my sister almost kill each other....fuck today..fuck my birthday..its always bring negativity.....well tomorrow is the big day.....wish me luck.
thank you roayl, will, elana, gillain for help put some light on this day. |
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| 04:28pm 08/08/2004 |
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ok so i tripped and fucked sprained my ankle.
this has caused me hell for so many good reasons...1.. i can't walk...2. its ren faire season ..with out feet you might has well not go....3. i can't go anywhere without being dependent of someone.....4. i now am accessable to be called cripple.....5. i walk like a old woman....6.this sucks....7. i can;t go camping....8. and it hurts to move...............................arrrrrrrrgggg.
lesson learned from this experience-----DON"T WEAR FLIP FLOPS...they are fucking deadly.i'm never wearing shitty cheap shoes ever again.
so andy has been away on tour....i miss him...right now he should be helping while i am injured,,,i guess it works out cause i can't go to seattle and be with him if i really tried...i can't drive and i can't walk(long distances)...........
so in the past few weeks i have been great.....camping,,, partying ,,,,good shows....andy's 21st b day party....leah's moved to another place....kevin coming home....meeting elena's relatives....grandma andgrandpa's ocean beach wake......getting super trashed with my buddies...oh boy. |
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| 03:23pm 28/07/2004 |
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august is coming up---which means.....my birthday...ren faire....bluegrass festival.....andy's birthday.....speeding ticket payments.....wisdom teeth surgery....getting a good job......nightwish....SOOOO MUCH TO DOOOO THIS MONTH!and i'm gonna love every moment of it.....
andy and i are super....my heart is totally throbbing for him...he is so incredibly sweet to me..he gives me music, makes me really good food, takes care of me when i am sick, flips records when i ask.....he does everything in his power for me cause he loves me...i want to do the same for him.. |
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| partypartypartypartyparty |
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| 12:22pm 02/07/2004 |
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kegger party....
july 3rd, saturday...6pm
everyone invited......
$5 a cup......girls drink FREE!!!
camping welcome....
from Purdy....take the Key Penninsula Highway going towards Key Center...1 mile after Key Center turn on Right 80th street(dirt road)....at top of hill turn Left at drive way. |
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| 10:58pm 30/06/2004 |
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i love summer..something fucking awsome happens every year around this time of year....for instance: i have money, i have a new kitty cat, i have a boy that i love and ador, nice |
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| 11:44pm 05/06/2004 |
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update for the past few weeks.......
i got some work whoopy. i have moneys...
i helped elana and brain moved to capitol hill....funfunfunfun...
i cuddled with my andy..we rule..we are super cool....
i <3 that kid for realz |
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| 09:46am 25/05/2004 |
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erinn wedding was beautiful........i got toooo wasted and had to much fun in the process......andy is amazing has always(my new boyfriend)... i heart that kid.... the sweetest guy i have ever met....he and i have so much in common its boggles the mind.
vanilla has a girlfriend ....oooooooooo! |
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| 11:52am 19/05/2004 |
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andy is my new best friend. |
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| 10:44pm 12/05/2004 |
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OoOoOooOoOoooooo....so yeah, theres this boy thats really cute..he listens to good music, has a collection of old metal magazines, gives great hugs, and his dreads smell like raspberries....plus he is overall the nicest kid ever.....this kid is absolutly amazing....i haven't kiss him yet,but i feel like i have kissed him a million times already..its kinda weird....its been a while since i liked someone like this....so i'm kinda shy and hesitant...i can't wait to see him again. |
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| 12:06am 07/05/2004 |
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i have work...whoopy,,,i was getting worried for a while...now i have money....money for more adventures and fun in seattle.....
i fitted my gown for erinn's wedding, its pretty....i feel fat in it..but thats alright cause its true......i want to hang out with friends this next weekend.....i want to see a lot of shows this week so i better sport the ear plugs. |
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| 12:28pm 04/05/2004 |
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monica, sarah, and i went on a mini-roadtrip ..starting from port orachard to olalla to bremerton to polsbo back down to silverdale then back to bremerton to port orchard then heading south to a different part of port orchard then to seatac and then to burien, from there to south park ..then to downtown, where they droped me off at studio 7....HOURS AND HOURS OF DRIVING OMG....i hungout with Shorty in his realrealrealy fucking highly METAL decorated studio room....his band is 10 million times more burtal then death metal itself....it makes me cry when they say they don't play shows...(oh yeah..MONICA:...yes, tracy was there that night...he is the most polite metalhead i have ever met.)....anyway.......so i'm back in the getto of south park chillin with my old buddy maggie.....fun times....we rule......hopefully i'll make it out to ballard today to see elana and brain.....they are moving to downtown this summer so i'm excited for them.....ok gotta go. |
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| the last few days rocked my life |
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| 01:53pm 02/05/2004 |
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satyricon...suffocation,& morbid angel
FUCKING RULED TOUGH!!!
so much metal in one night jesus fucking christ mary mother of satan i had a good time.
shhh..i think this one guy is really cute but i'm not gonna say who it is..shhh
camping party on friday didn't work out the way it was planned so we postponed it and had a disco ball slumber party at the olalla community club and played all night long, sang, and played guitar.. funfunfunfun
then on saturday erinn invited me to go camping with her boyfriends buddies and her, but that didn't happen cause those guys are fucking stoned retarded gig harbor yuppies...so we ditched the idea and camped in my backyard...which was so fun....my good old buddies showed up (with BEER)..we got fucked up with my dad and marlena.....we laughed...we drank...we joked ...we ruled...good times.
so over all i had a really really really fun weekend. thanks to monica, sarah, missy baby, erinn, matt, gillain , lucy, troy, josh, dad, marlena, satyricon, tracy, nick, andy, and uh the olalla cumminty club....and uhh really good beer and uh...oh and PEPPER cause she is the cutest dog ever! |
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| 01:51pm 27/04/2004 |
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i was at the beach the other day i came with in 20 feet from a bold eagle.....no really..i was drifting down this creek on a raft and there was the eagle catching some fishies..it was fucking rad....we just glared at eachother for a few minutes til my friend jay-dog scared it away......
i hope i make it to the show on thursday.....satyricon better play the morbid angel show or else i'm gonnna be way pissed......oh yeah siriana and i are going to seatle today hopefully if everything goes has planned.....
..oh and SOUTHKITSAP prom is coming up and i want to go or atleast get dressed up for the after parties hahah that would fun even though i graduated last year but oh well...i have to make up for the prom last year....i reallreallreally wanted to go but i didn;t have anyone to go with cause iam lame like that...plus( i can;t dance shhhhh).so yeah i think it would be fun to get dresseed up like a princess and then get wasted...spill beer all over my 400 dollar gown...smear my makeup every where and pick a fight with the cheerleader squad....steal everynes boyfriend and wake up the nextday and not remember anything ohman that would be amamzing......i mean isn't that every alcoholic prom queens dream?..i think i still have my 9th grade dance gown.. i bet i could stiill fit into it..maybe. |
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| 10:13pm 25/04/2004 |
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amanda and i rule....we are tough bike riding motha fuckahs... we road 17 miles cause we are tough like that........plus we almost got killed twice cause gig harbor yuppies are fucking blind, but we survived cause we are tough.........i can't wait to ride tough again.
i want to throw a camping party in my back yard next weekend...who thinks its a good idea?........
.*thank you amanda and shawn for coming all the way out to olalla chill with me..you made me happy |
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| 11:03am 23/04/2004 |
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I've been really depressed in the past week....after my sister bitching me out calling me selfish and ignorant cause i wanted to go back to cali with alyx, kevin,syd, and jeremy and then after all that bullshit, my cali friends ditching in bermerton...they didn't say they were leaving 3 days earlier then what was planned...its got me down...it has me confused.... i'm trying to make sence of all this and it doesn't get anywhere....i mean how could someone just forget about another....i not sure about them....that was way shady on their behalf..i guess i value friendship a little bit more then the kids in the valley area....thats alright though....i'm sure it was for the best anyway....i didn't want to stay with kevin any longer in stanton...don't get me wrong kevin's home is rad....you wake up to puppies and kitty cuddling with you and a quiet atmosphere(opposite of erik's family) but kevin and i get in these pissy moods...i can't stand being around him at times...he made me really depressed....he is really nice on day and then he becomes super jerk the next...most of the time i was worried about saying anything offensive otherwise he would snap.....i like kevin alot more now that is together with alyx...alyx makes him happy..when they met kevin turned into a sweetheart again.....later. |
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| 01:13am 11/04/2004 |
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in the past few days i have been staying in seattle area...woke up this morning with a huge hang over to a bunch of singing mexicans pounding hammers on my friends roof for hours on end...what a day....
elena and brain are doing a lot better...elena got a job.and brain is a cook for jeffery's restraunt...jesus, elena got really skinny since the last time i saw her... we spent a day walking around the ave and listening to music...we scored some fine dining for FREE and some good tunes for wat cheap..
so maggie wants me to move in with her in south park/georgetown area..its a nice sized 3 bedroom house with a yard.....the rent would be split 4 ways..so it would be 180 a month...i would have my own room..the neigborhood is way industrial which i don't mind..infact i like it...we can be has loud has we want and no one cares..which is perfect for my music...plus maggie and i could start a garden....i don't know...i'm really excited about it... i always wanted to live in seattle...i want out of olalla so badly...plus its near downtown and the ferry docks and my friends live here...but i don't think chris and nick are two crazy about me living with them...i don't know why exactly...oh well...if not move there she wants to get another place with me...i think maggie just needs to hang out with her friends...she has been living with guys for a year or so ..plus she lives with her boyfriend..she never gets out of the house ever! she is depressed. i understand exactly how she feels |
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| 02:56pm 05/04/2004 |
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i'm depressed as hell.....i want to leave again...its not that i have family problems or i hate this county life...i feel so trapped when i'm home..its funny cause i have only been here a few hours and i already want to leave again.... i have this strong feeling in my heart that i don't belong here.....my heart aches and its not from home sickness...i'm serious...i want to meet new people and see new places..find a place i know i belong...
.funny funny funnyy so last night i discovered my sisters stole some of my things in my room ...my emperor t shirt was missing plus my ren fair costumes, my posters and pictures i have collected for the past 6 years were missing and i found my favorite 7inch missing aswell....but luckly i found them....except my boots! those boots are my babies dammit! where the fuck are they? |
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| 12:27am 05/04/2004 |
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i'm home...it's nice to see my friends again..i missed them......i feel weird staying at my house....everything is different...all i know is that i want to leave again...i'm ready for another advanture..it such a weird feeling i can't explain....overall i really miss california...i almost was in tears when i left....i hope i have a chance to visit soon. |
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| 12:34pm 01/04/2004 |
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last night sucked..i'm sad....i'm lonely has hell and everyone is rubbing it in my face...its not fair dammit...i'm always gonna be the third wheel......well i'm going home on saturday....back to the old routine....back to the solutude of Olalla...back to my hell...i'm gonna miss cali and all my friends. |
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| 10:27pm 26/03/2004 |
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i'm so hungover......my friends and i bar hopped last night=star shoes, beauty bar, and some other ones( one i got kicked out of)..woooooooooow..so hungover....we danced, we drank , we were the childern of the night.....hollywood clubers are fucking assholes and sleeeeeeeeeezy has fuck...most of them were fucking gorgious...and some were nice.... i had fun....then we went to some chick's house and drank with some glam rock boys from sweden and a chick that couldn't keep her top on...funfunfun |
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